Strategies for Dealing with over-active mom brain.
As new mom it’s so easy to feel overwhelmed or to constantly overthink things.
With so many inputs nowadays from friends, family, and social media, it’s hard to find a mom who ISN’T dealing with what I like to call ‘over-active mom brain.’
Sometimes, the activities that used to bring us so much joy turn into just bucket list items to be checked off a list. And when you have a family and kids, it just becomes more complicated trying to fit everything in and trying to please everyone. We’re often left feeling overwhelmed, dissatisfied, and over-tired.
I’ve been there. And over the years, I’ve come to really rely on 2 strategies to help quiet down and calm down your brain.
Strategy #1: The Observing Self
‘The Observing Self’ is a tactic based in mindfulness (mindfulness is a cognitive skill that involves being aware of your thoughts, emotions, and actions in the present moment without judgment.). Contrary to popular belief, trying to always monitor your thoughts and replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts often leads to an internal struggle that can take your focus away from being present in your life.
This internal struggle can also lead to shame, and thoughts of “Why can’t I just be positive?”.
Being able to simply observe those thoughts with non-judgment, like a wave on a beach that comes in and goes back out, can leave you feeling much lighter and more free to focus on the present moment.
And to get even more specific, being able to say “Thank you, Mind” or “Thank you, Brain” when you notice yourself ruminating on a certain topic for too long, can be another way to refocus on the present moment. I really appreciate this approach because it acknowledges that the over-active mind does serve a purpose in our society.
Looking at evolutionary psychology, someone who is able to think of every single possible outcome, probably was great at survival and was able to stay alive longer. This anxious, or overactive, part of our brain really does serve a purpose, but doesn’t need to stay active all the time. So it can be nice to say thank you to this side of our brain, while also redirecting our attention to the part of our brain that can be in a state of relaxation and presence. This can absolve us from feelings of shame.
So the next time you find yourself ruminating or overthinking, try telling yourself “Thank you, Brain” and then refocusing on the present moment.
Stategy #2: Define, Set, Commit
This strategy is based in the Acceptance and Commitment Theory. It helps us take purposeful action towards our goals. The first step is to define your values and the second step is to create a goal that aligns with those values. There are a lot of different types of online worksheets and exercises that can help you define and clarify your values.
Next is setting your goal.
Are you overwhelmed by a challenging project at work? Maybe a goal to break it down into smaller tasks.
Are you overwhelmed by the amount of extracurricular activities your children are involved in, maybe a goal to bring on some grandparent or addition support would be helpful.
And then, if you’re trying to decide between two activities, looking at the one that aligns more with your defined values and choosing that one, will likely help you feel more satisfied, meaningful and fulfilled in your life.
Would you like help implementing these strategies?
If you’re looking for a custom approach to your specific situation, or you’d like help implementing these strategies, we are here to help. Either contact us or schedule a session and we can work together on a plan to help you deal with being overwhelmed or over-thinking your parenting.