The Permission to Recharge: Why Slowing Down Feels So Hard
Why Rest Feels So Hard in a Hustle Culture
We live in a world that glorifies hustle. Phrases like “rise and grind” or “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” are worn like badges of honor. Rest, meanwhile, is often dismissed as laziness. This mindset is so normalized that slowing down can actually feel uncomfortable, even dangerous, as though we’re falling behind.
But the cost of constant motion is high. When we don’t allow ourselves to rest, we burn out—and burnout doesn’t just mean being tired. It can look like irritability, brain fog, difficulty focusing, lack of creativity, and even physical symptoms like headaches or digestive issues. Everything suffers: our work, our relationships, our health, and our sense of self.
One reason it’s so hard to embrace rest is that we’ve been taught to value productivity above all else. We often measure our worth by how much we’ve accomplished in a day, not by how we’ve cared for ourselves. If the to-do list isn’t finished, or the inbox isn’t cleared, we label the day a failure. Productivity becomes the standard of worthiness, and when we’re not producing, we feel guilty.
Why Is It So Hard to Slow Down?
Several forces make slowing down more difficult than it should be:
Scarcity culture whispers “never enough.” Brené Brown describes scarcity culture as the constant hum of inadequacy: not thin enough, not smart enough, not productive enough. When rest is filtered through this lens, it feels like proof we’re not doing enough.
We’re addicted to busy. Staying busy gives us a sense of control. It also distracts us from uncomfortable emotions—like loneliness, grief, or uncertainty—that might surface in the quiet moments.
We equate value with output. Many of us were taught that achievement equals worth. If we slow down, we fear it means we’re less valuable. This is especially true in environments (workplaces, schools, families) where constant achievement is praised, and rest is seen as weakness.
Understanding why rest feels difficult can help us begin to unlearn the naratives that keep us from it.
The Phone Metaphor: Recharge Effectively
Imagine your phone on 1% battery. You plug it in, but you also keep scrolling, streaming, texting, and opening apps. The battery climbs only a little, or sometimes not at all.
That’s exactly what many of us do with rest. We say we’re “recharging,” however we keep our brains busy—answering emails during a break, scrolling on social media in bed, or planning tomorrow’s to-do list while trying to “relax.” Just like the phone, we can’t actually refill our energy if we don’t power down.
True rest is like letting the phone sit quietly in the charger and letting our phone just be. It might feel uncomfortable at first, however that’s the only way to truly be able to fully recharge.
A Real-Life Example: “Fake Rest” vs. Real Rest
Think about this: Alex finishes a long workday and collapses onto the couch. They tell themselves they’re “resting,” but then they grab their phone, scroll through Instagram, answer a couple of Slack messages, and half-watch a show while making a mental list of tomorrow’s tasks. Two hours later, Alex is drained, overstimulated, and frustrated because they’re still tired.
That’s fake rest. It distracts, but it doesn’t restore.
Now imagine if Alex instead put their phone on “do not disturb,” dimmed the lights, and went for a slow walk outside. Afterward, they made tea, stretched for ten minutes, and let themselves journal about the day. That kind of rest might only take an hour, but it feels like a true reset.
The difference isn’t time—it’s intention. Fake rest numbs us; real rest restores us.
The Science of Rest
Rest isn’t indulgent—it’s biological.
Brain health: During downtime and sleep, the brain consolidates memories, processes emotions, and clears out waste. Without this, we struggle with concentration and emotional regulation.
Nervous system reset: Rest allows us to move from “fight or flight” mode into “rest and digest,” giving our bodies space to repair, regulate hormones, and strengthen the immune system.
Creativity and problem-solving: Ever notice how your best ideas come in the shower or on a walk? That’s because rest activates parts of the brain responsible for insight and creativity.
When we deny ourselves rest, we’re not only exhausted—we’re less effective at the very productivity we’re chasing.
The Seven Types of Rest
Real rest isn’t one-size-fits-all. Saundra Dalton-Smith identifies seven types of rest, and understanding them can help us pinpoint what we actually need:
Physical Rest – Includes sleep, naps, stretching, yoga, or simply lying down. For those with physically demanding jobs, this is essential.
Mental Rest – Stepping away from constant decision-making and problem-solving. This might look like journaling thoughts out of your head or giving yourself permission to not think about work after hours.
Sensory Rest – Our senses are bombarded all day with noise, screens, and notifications. Sensory rest means silence, dim lights, unplugging, or stepping outside.
Emotional Rest – Space to be authentic without needing to perform or please others. This might be talking honestly with a friend, seeing a therapist, or letting yourself cry.
Social Rest – Not all social time is restful. Social rest is choosing time with people who recharge you—or choosing solitude if that’s what you need.
Creative Rest – Feeding your soul with beauty and inspiration: walking in nature, looking at art, listening to music, or daydreaming.
Spiritual Rest – Connecting with meaning and purpose beyond yourself—through prayer, meditation, reflection, or simply aligning with your values.
Sometimes exhaustion isn’t about needing more sleep—it’s about needing the right kind of rest.
Barriers to Real Rest
Even when we know the importance of recharging, rest can still feel out of reach. Common barriers include:
Guilt: Many of us carry an internalized belief that rest has to be earned, so downtime feels selfish.
Perfectionism: We tell ourselves we can rest after everything is done—but in reality, the list never ends.
Numbing instead of resting: Scrolling, binge-watching, or online shopping give temporary relief but don’t restore us. They’re distractions, not true rest.
Fear of falling behind: Resting can spark anxiety that someone else is working harder, getting further, or achieving more while we pause.
By noticing these barriers, we can gently challenge them instead of automatically believing them.
Practical Ways to Recharge
Allowing yourself to recharge doesn’t always mean booking a spa day or a vacation (though those are wonderful). Small daily practices can create the space you need to restore:
Take a walk outside without headphones, letting your mind wander.
Sit down for a meal without your phone, focusing only on eating.
Create “do not disturb” hours for your phone and email—especially before bed.
Schedule rest into your calendar as a non-negotiable appointment.
Use micro-breaks: just two to five minutes of breathing, stretching, or looking out a window.
Practice a hobby purely for enjoyment, not to achieve or improve.
Try a bedtime ritual that signals your body it’s time to wind down (reading, gentle stretching, journaling).
Think of these not as luxuries, but as maintenance, the same way charging your phone is. We need to be able to give ourselves the space to recharge in order to more effectively function in our day to day life.
A Gentle Reminder
When we truly allow ourselves to pause, not just plug in while still running, we give our minds and bodies the space they need to repair, reset, and come back stronger.
Rest is not something that you need to earn. You’re allowed to recharge simply because you’re human.