Recovery isn’t a straight line, as much as we may like it to be.

Detours happen. Emotions come up. Old patterns can resurface. And when they do, it can feel discouraging, even scary, like you’ve “messed up” or “gone backwards.” It’s important to not give into these thoughts and remember that healing is still happening, even when it feels messy.

In eating disorder recovery, it’s important to understand the difference between slips, lapses, and relapses—because not every setback means you’re back at square one.

What does it mean to be “in recovery”?

Being “in recovery” from an eating disorder can mean different things to different people. For some, recovery is about no longer engaging in disordered behaviors—a focus on food freedom and body trust. For others, recovery is about working toward peace with food and body, even if thoughts still pop up from time to time.

Recovery might mean:

Learning how to eat regularly and consistently
Challenging food rules and fears
Reconnecting with your body’s cues for hunger and fullness
Replacing shame with compassion
Building a life that feels bigger than the eating disorder

It’s not a single finish line—it’s a process. And just because your version of recovery doesn’t look like someone else’s doesn’t mean it’s “less valid.”

Recovery isn’t all-or-nothing

This is where many people get stuck: they assume recovery means never struggling again. But the reality is, recovery often includes slips, lapses, and sometimes even relapses. These moments don’t cancel out your progress—they’re simply part of the journey.

In fact, setbacks can become some of the most valuable parts of recovery. Each time you slip or lapse, you’re given the chance to practice responding differently than you would have in the past. Struggle isn’t proof of failure—it’s an opportunity to strengthen your ability to navigate life in recovery and build resiliency.

Slips, Lapses, and Relapses

Slip – A slip is a small, brief return to an old behavior. Maybe you skip a snack, overexercise one day, or find yourself using a disordered thought pattern in a stressful moment. Slips happen. They don’t erase your progress.
Lapse – A lapse is a little bigger than a slip. It might last longer, or involve more than one behavior. Think of it as a bump in the road rather than a full detour. You may feel shaken, but you can still course-correct quickly with support and compassion.
Relapse – A relapse means returning more consistently to disordered patterns and stepping away from your recovery tools. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it just means extra support is needed to get back on track.

Why naming this matters

When you can identify what’s happening, you take back power from shame. A slip doesn’t have to spiral into a relapse. A lapse doesn’t undo months of progress. Recovery is about learning to notice, name, and respond differently each time.

Recovery Has No Timeline

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of comparing your recovery to someone else’s. Maybe you’ve heard stories of people who “just stopped” their eating disorder behaviors and never looked back, or you’ve seen others who seem to move forward without stumbling. That can make your own ups and downs feel discouraging.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s recovery timeline is unique. For some, progress feels steady. For others, it feels like two steps forward, one step back. Neither is wrong. Healing isn’t about speed or how “linear” it looks—it’s about continuing to return to your values and your recovery goals, no matter how many times you need to reroute.

Recovery isn’t a race. There’s no finish line you have to cross in a certain amount of time. What matters most is that you keep showing up for yourself, again and again.

Recovery as a road trip

Think of recovery like going on a cross-country road trip. You’ve left your starting point behind (living fully in the eating disorder) and you’re on your way to a new destination (freedom, peace, and trust with yourself).

Along the way, things might not always go as planned—you could hit construction, run into bad weather, or take a wrong exit. These detours might slow you down, however they don’t teleport you back to where you started. You’re still on the road, still moving forward, still closer to your destination than when you began.

What to do when a setback happens

Pause and check in with yourself—what triggered the slip or lapse?
Practice self-compassion instead of shame.
Look for the lesson: what can this experience teach you about navigating challenges in the future?
Reach out to your support system or treatment team.
Remind yourself: This is part of the process. I am still moving forward.

Planning Ahead in Recovery

While slips, lapses, and relapses can happen, it doesn’t mean we’re powerless. One of the most empowering parts of recovery is learning how to plan for challenges before they come up.

When we think about recovery as a journey, part of the road trip is packing wisely—knowing what you might need if detours show up. This doesn’t mean you’re expecting yourself to “fail,” rather setting yourself up with tools and supports to lean on if obstacles do show up. Think of it like packing an extra change of clothes that you might not need; however you want to have just in case.

Some things you might include in your ED recovery plan:

Recognizing triggers – Certain environments, stressors, or emotions may make urges stronger. Naming these ahead of time takes away their power to surprise you.
Identifying early warning signs – Maybe you notice more food/body thoughts, increased anxiety, or urges to isolate. Catching these early gives you the chance to respond before behaviors take hold.
Choosing how to respond – Planning grounding tools, coping strategies, or who you’ll reach out to if you notice a slip can help you shift back into a recovery mindset more quickly.
Naming ways to not respond - Identifying unhelpful and maladaptive coping skills and behaviors that lead you further away from the recovery path
Using your support system – Sharing your plan with a therapist, dietitian, or trusted friend helps you feel less alone and makes it easier to ask for support when you need it.

Recovery planning is about building resilience, not perfection. Every time you practice noticing triggers and responding differently, you strengthen your recovery muscles. Just like a road trip, the more maps and tools you bring along, the more confident you feel navigating whatever comes your way.

Common Myths About ED Recovery

Myth 1: Recovery means I’ll never have food or body image struggles again.
Recovery doesn’t erase every hard thought—it changes your relationship to them. You can have a thought without acting on it.
Myth 2: If I slip, I’ve ruined my recovery.
Not true. Slips are normal and expected. They’re information, not proof of failure.
Myth 3: Everyone’s recovery should look the same.
Your recovery is unique. Comparing your timeline to someone else’s only fuels shame—it doesn’t speed up healing.
Myth 4: Recovery should feel linear and steady.
In reality, recovery often feels like two steps forward, one step back. Progress is measured over time, not in a single moment.

The bigger picture

Being in eating disorder recovery doesn’t mean you never struggle. It means you are committed to showing up, trying again, and building a healthier relationship with yourself.

Healing isn’t about perfection. It’s about persistence. Each struggle is not a reset, but a chance to grow stronger and prepare for the road ahead.

So when slips, lapses, or even relapses happen, remember: you are still doing the work. You are still moving forward. Be gentle with yourself. Keep going.

Recovery is not about never falling, but about learning how to stand up again and again. Every step forward counts, even if it feels small.

Slips, Lapses, and Relapses: Why ED Recovery Isn’t a Straight Line